I got kicked off Facebook. Boo hoo.

Ugh. How am I supposed to entertain my tens of fans with crappy memes and photos of the dogs?

I realise that this post is not my standard type where I write about miniatures, paint, PVA glue, flock, foamboard and screaming. But as I'd composed most of this in my head, I didn't want to waste it. If you don't want to read it, feel free to come back again later 'cos I have some awesome figures ready to be photographed. So in the words of the Chemical Brothers' track "Hey Boy Hey Girl", here we go...

You don't get told that Facebook has restricted your account; you find out when you try to post/like/share something. So it came as a bit of a surprise to me to discover I'd been banned while trying to post a photo of myself next to a suit of armour (not real) in a Bennington bar.

I was restricted for two reasons: an image I posted back in February, and a comment I made yesterday. After a lot of fannying around trying to find which post and which comment got me booted, I was surprised, amused and bemused to discover what they were. 

Before we go any further, I'm not going to be screaming about MUH RIGHTS and FREE SPEECH because Facebook is a private entity that's allowed to control what appears on its platform but in reality barely bothers as long as the money keeps rolling in. When I worked in newspapers we'd regularly bin readers' letters for being incomprehensible rants, written in indecipherable handwriting, or containing so many unsubstantiated facts that checking them was beyond our ability. People exercise their 1st Amendment rights when they write a social media post or a letter, but as a private company the platform can control whether to publish it.

So I'm not pissed off at Facebook for exercising its rights under its terms of service. I didn't run off to Twitter to yell about censorship, mainly because I don't have a Twitter account as Twitter makes dogshit look intelligent but also because I actually understand that private corporations are allowed to set their own rules.

One other thing: I have no idea about the politics of my reader(s). Several people regularly comment on my usual painting/modelling posts and say lovely and confidence-boosting things about my efforts with one-inch tall toy soldiers which I appreciate and am grateful for, and the last thing I want to do is offend anyone to the point where they don't come back. So just remember that if what I posted offends you, it's not personal. Hopefully the miniature painting hobby is one place we can keep free from the shitstorm that is politics in 2022. This post is separate from the hobby; it's just me expressing my own opinion on what happened to my Facebook account. 

Oopsie 1: The incredibly accurate meme

I challenge anyone to point out what's factually incorrect about this image. Also, the fact that this was banned on grounds of "nudity or sexual activity" is hysterical considering it pictures Trump, who's been accused of rape, sexual assault and sexual harassment by 25 women since the 1970s. One of those charges was made by his ex-wife, the one who recently kicked the bucket and is now decorating Trump's golf course in a display of taste and decorum totally in keeping with what we've come to expect from the orange shitgibbon and the crime syndicate that passes for his family.

Anyway, at first I couldn't understand how or why Facebook decided this image was crossing the line. Does it actually have moderators? Did I trigger some MAGA snowflake who reported me? In the long run, who cares? Facebook became notorious for banning women who posted photos of themselves breastfeeding while at the same time allowing Russian trolls and bots to run rampant, sowing misinformation and outright lies to influence the 2016 election. It's since been accused of using its algorithms to promote right-wing (and I mean the kind of right-wing that starts with autobahns and ends with gas chambers) talking points, memes and bullshit and we all know how that went. So it's not like the company has a fucking leg to stand on when it comes to "community standards".

And then came Covid. During and after the pandemic, Facebook became the number one source of misinformation about the coronavirus as well as anti-science, anti-vaccine and anti-common effing sense bullshit. Worried about what precautions to take against Covid, or concerned about the vaccine? Don't panic, Facebook has the answers in the form of hundreds of groups with tens of thousands of followers —who might be real people but could just as easily be Dmitri from a Russian troll farm — who'll tell you to drink bleach or take Ivermectin, or that the vaccine will turn you magnetic and/or implant a 5G chip. One report discovered that 12 accounts were responsible for 65% of the anti-vaxx lies on Facebook.

I would add something about the company's complicity in spreading the literal mental illness that is QAnon across the globe, but my brain can't handle that level of fuckwittery.

Facebook claims that it's cracking down on the horseshit it's been perfectly fine with, and profited handsomely from, for years, until a leak of internal documents forced it to, you know, actually do something instead of just sitting back and counting its money.

I'll chuck in two more facts because why not: Facebook has been accused of allowing a literal genocide to be planned and carried out on its platform in Myanmar, which led to the deaths of 10,000 people and the displacement of 900,000 more. And it's currently being investigated and sued for effectively aiding sex trafficking.

In conclusion (and there was much rejoicing) the reason I was amused at Facebook's sudden offence at my posting this meme was simple: Under its own "standards" Facebook should fucking ban itself.

Oopsie 2: Game over, man! Game over!

I hate spiders. They scare the shit out of me, and it's Alicia's job to get rid of or preferably kill them whenever they show up. So when one of my friends posted a photo of a huge, evil-looking arachnid he found in his house, I responded with my usual comment in these circumstances: "Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." And then this happened:

What the actual fuck? "Violence and incitement?" For quoting a classic line from a classic movie? A brief paranoia flitted across my mind: maybe someone is reporting me! Is it because of my endless memes, most of which can be summed up with the words "fuck Trump"? Do they not like dogs? Is it my beard? The fact I haven't had a haircut in over two years? Is it because I'm Welsh? Holy shit, did they take offence at Dewi??

Whatever the reason, the idea that my post is an incitement to violence is laughable, and I did actually LOL in real life when I saw this message. I've used this Aliens quote countless times when seeing photos of spiders and other horrible things, but mainly spiders. I've seen it used by others under posts about such things as diverse as spiders, bugs, Congress, the Houses of Parliament, Biden, Trump rallies, influencers, and even a photo of an AMC Gremlin. It's part of the cultural landscape, of movie history. It is, to quote a classic novel, mostly harmless.

I mean, the only "violent" word in the post is "nuke" and let's be honest: where the hell am I, an overweight pasty white 50-year-old Welsh bloke, going to get my hands on nuclear weapons? It's not like I'm a twice-impeached former president, bankrupt businessman and current traitor who literally stole nuclear secrets and possibly sold them to Saudi Arabia.

And I did disagree with the decision because I did think it was wrong. I was hoping to get a chance to say why I thought it was wrong, but all you get to do is click a box saying "I disagree" which is a shame as I had an incredibly sarcastic message for whoever moderates (using that term in its loosest sense) Facebook posts. In many ways being banned was my own fault; if I'd advocated for the violent overthrow and murder of a democratically-elected government or promoted anti-vaxx lies which possibly killed thousands of people, I'd have probably been OK.

Anyway, as of a couple of hours ago my ban is over and I celebrated in my own style:

If you made it this far, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the ride. If I offended you, I apologise and please come back. Normal service (or about as normal as things get around here) will resume soon with more sci-fi figures and scenery.

Till then, fuck Facebook.